Post by Kira Darling on Apr 1, 2016 15:00:03 GMT
A lot of times of feel so uncomfortable transitioning around my wife that I just put on men's clothes and try to go about my day as a guy. But when I do, the entire day just feels "over". At times I become so depressed about it that I'm probably not a very fun person to be around. I don't even want to talk to anyone.
If I had to explain why I felt like this, I suppose it would be the looks she gives me. Maybe a comment that she made in passing. I know she can't help it sometimes. It's not her fault. This has been hard on her. I'm aware of that.
I've tried to talk to her about it, but we end up arguing or she will brush off my feelings and tell me I'm just "being a drama queen". Her words, not mine. I wish I could fast-forward through time to a point where she's more comfortable around me. And not just at home. I want to be like other people!!! When we want to go somewhere, even to do something as mundane as grocery shopping, it's absolutely depressing for me to change into men's clothes, take off my makeup, and go out like that. It isn't me!
In fact, literally, the only time I ever get to completely be myself is when I see my therapist. I have to hide from my kids and the neighbors with a jacket or something until I leave, but I can wear my breast forms, a cute outfit, my makeup and just be myself! And usually no one bothers me. I get to be myself and it feels so empowering!
I've wanted to bring my wife to therapy to get some of these issues resolved, but then she will end up ruining my one and only day of the week to express myself. But I need to get my marriage fixed as well. I just can't figure out how to do that and be myself at the same time.
It's so horrible to be locked away in the house like I'm some kind of diseased monster that no one is allowed to see or be around. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm open to suggestions! Thank you!!
If I had to explain why I felt like this, I suppose it would be the looks she gives me. Maybe a comment that she made in passing. I know she can't help it sometimes. It's not her fault. This has been hard on her. I'm aware of that.
I've tried to talk to her about it, but we end up arguing or she will brush off my feelings and tell me I'm just "being a drama queen". Her words, not mine. I wish I could fast-forward through time to a point where she's more comfortable around me. And not just at home. I want to be like other people!!! When we want to go somewhere, even to do something as mundane as grocery shopping, it's absolutely depressing for me to change into men's clothes, take off my makeup, and go out like that. It isn't me!
In fact, literally, the only time I ever get to completely be myself is when I see my therapist. I have to hide from my kids and the neighbors with a jacket or something until I leave, but I can wear my breast forms, a cute outfit, my makeup and just be myself! And usually no one bothers me. I get to be myself and it feels so empowering!
I've wanted to bring my wife to therapy to get some of these issues resolved, but then she will end up ruining my one and only day of the week to express myself. But I need to get my marriage fixed as well. I just can't figure out how to do that and be myself at the same time.
It's so horrible to be locked away in the house like I'm some kind of diseased monster that no one is allowed to see or be around. Does anyone have any advice for me? I'm open to suggestions! Thank you!!